weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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