New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
