Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest