Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain