i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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