I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
