Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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