okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
