Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
