Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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