Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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