yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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