The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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