Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
