are you still at the devil's house?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
