Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. Β―\\(γ)/Β―
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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