He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
