I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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