But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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