yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
