1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Please, let me fuck your mom
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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