Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
