I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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