at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
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Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation