It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
