why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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