I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
