I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
