I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
be right there i have to get my cape
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
