When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We are all done wearing pants today
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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