Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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