Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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