I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
