Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
