she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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