I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
