My nipple is on Facebook.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
