ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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