Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
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Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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