She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
