roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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