he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
