hotel room ftw
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
