no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
