Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
