Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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