I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
