K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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