She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
