Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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