Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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