I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
