i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
