so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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