Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
