so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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