we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
